


No Place Like Home

by masi



Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:37:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masi/pseuds/masi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin wouldn't mind moving in with Haru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Place Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: _Free! Iwatobi Swim Club_ © Hiroko Utsumi, Masahiro Yokotani, Kyoto Animation; _High Speed!_ © Kouji Ouji.
> 
> Credits: A big thank you to janeypeixes on tumblr for her translations of the light novel and for answering my question about the Japanese term Rin uses to address his father. 
> 
> Warnings: spoilers about Rin’s past, romantic clichés, family drama, fluff+angst, probably unwarranted M rating

The first place Rin visits on arriving in Iwatobi is the new swimming club. He drags his luggage in with him, half-regretful that he hadn't gone straight to his mother’s house from the train station instead. He could have had a long, cold shower there, followed by a big lunch. Or, he could have taken that shower at Haru’s house. 

_Their_ house, Rin reminds himself. When they were saying goodbye in January, Haru had definitely implied that he was ready to start living together. That’s what the whole conversation about bringing Rin’s things to Haru’s house was about. Haru had walked Rin halfway to the train station and then mentioned off-hand, looking off at the mountains in the distance, “You can put your stuff in my house when you get back.”

“You mean, you want me to move in with you?!” Rin had asked, his voice going a bit squeaky and high-pitched. The shop owners around them had paused in the middle of pulling up their shutters and rearranging their wares to turn and stare.

Haru had given him a measured look, not the least hint of a blush on his face, and then replied, “Try not to drown in Sydney.”

This event took place about four months ago, ample time for Haru to change his mind. While Rin was strengthening his muscles and improving his speed in preparation for the next Olympics, where he is definitely going to get the gold this time, Haru could have been brooding over his offer. Maybe he has realized he really doesn’t want Rin to become a semi-permanent fixture in the house he has been living in alone since the age of fifteen. Maybe Haru has started locking his front door, like he does when Rin stays over for the night. 

Going straight to the house while Haru is still in town would be a bad idea in that case. Rin does not want to spend hours sitting outside in this sudden May heat, like some kind of unwanted, persistent relative determined to get inside.

Not that Rin would blame Haru for locking the door. Haru isn’t the type to take back his word, but he hasn’t made a promise per se, and living together under one roof, waking up next to each other every morning, mixing their laundry, constantly being in each other’s breathing space, really isn’t the kind of situation an independent, moody guy like Haru would really want to enter into of his own volition. And, anyway, that kind of arrangement isn’t advisable for friends turned bitter rivals turned boyfriends, who still struggle to relearn their friendship after every particularly nasty fight.

There is always a chance though that Haru’s invitation still stands. Rin could still go into the house, maybe set up a little romantic dinner, complete with candles and everything. His flatmates in Australia are always doing nice things like that for their girlfriends, and they say the sex is always better as a result.

However, at the crosswalk between the road that leads to his mother’s house and the street that will take him to Iwatobi Swimming Club, Rin decided that he did not want to deal with disappointment on the very first day of his return and that he kind of wanted to see Haru right away, not five hours later. Gou mentioned in a previous phone conversation that Haru works at the club until seven, and so here Rin is, standing in front of the door to the manager’s office in a two-days-old, reeking shirt, his sweater tied to his waist, a luggage handle clenched in each hand.

Gou opens the door after the first knock. Her eyes, so similar in color to his own but much, much kinder, widen in surprised delight. “Hi there, Gou-chan,” he says.

“I didn’t know you were coming to the club!” she exclaims, before glancing back at her desk. It is buried underneath a staggering pile of folders, charts, crumpled balls of paper, paper clips, fat highlighters, and pens. The laptop is sitting on her chair. “You should’ve texted me! Or called!”

“Where’s Haru?” Rin walks over to the wall of windows that looks out at the pool and draws back the thick, pink-colored curtains. 

He realizes that Haru isn’t there a moment before Gou confirms it. Haru can either be found sitting in the lifeguard’s chair while staring at the water with wistful eyes, or (most often) floating back and forth in the lanes while excited groups of teenage girls eye him from a distance. He was initially hired at this club for managerial work, along with Gou, but the owner soon discovered that the pool attracts more customers when Haru is physically in or a few feet away from the water, not when he is tucked away in this office. Now all the day-to-day tasks of running the club have fallen on Gou, who has faint bags under her eyes, Rin notices suddenly.

He lets the curtains fall over the happy scene of a group of young and old people splashing around in the water while a tanned, fit guy watches them from the lifeguard’s chair, and then asks, “Did you eat your lunch, Gou?”

Gou makes a face. “Of course I did, Onii-chan. I’m not a little kid who has to be reminded when to eat.” 

“But clearly you have to be reminded to not come to work in your house slippers and that you should brush your hair in the morning.” He tugs on her messy ponytail. “Don’t tell me you fell asleep last night with your hair like this and didn’t bother to fix it. And why is it so oily?” 

“You smell,” she retorts, sticking out her tongue. “I can’t believe you didn’t bother to take a shower before showing up here. How am I supposed to show you off to the patrons? They’ve been after me since they heard that the Matsuoka Rin who won a silver medal in the 400 meter individual medley in the last summer Olympics is actually my big brother.”

Gou has not outgrown her habit of talking about family affairs to people outside the family. Reprimanding her won’t have any effect, so Rin only says, “You should put in more of an effort to make your own self presentable. Are you under too much pressure? Why isn’t Haru here helping you? Who’s that guy acting as lifeguard out there?”

“He’s not _acting_ as a lifeguard.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re so weird, Onii-chan. He is one. We had to hire him because Haruka-senpai was getting bored with the job. And, I’m not under too much pressure. The pool just reopened this Monday for the spring and summer, so I have a little more work than usual.”

Rin frowns. “Are you telling me that Haru doesn’t come in to work anymore?”

“No, no, he does.” Gou flutters her hands a bit, gives him a placating smile. “In fact, he was here until half an hour ago. You just missed him. He said he had to run a few errands.”

“You shouldn’t let Haru do whatever he wants. It’s bad for him. I told you to make sure he doesn’t skive off at his job.”

“I know how to manage him!” Gou puts her hands on her hips. “I was his manager for two years in high school, remember? Anyway, I knew he was going grocery shopping so that he could cook dinner for you, so I wasn’t going to stop him, was I? Anyway,” she adds, quickly, as Rin turns to go, “he’s getting a lot better at socializing, really. He doesn’t mind opening the club when I’m running late, and he actually talks to the early comers. And the other day when we were all at his house, you know Nagisa-kun and Makoto-senpai and Rei-kun and me. Nagisa-kun was telling us about this wonderful Jacuzzi he bathed in at a friend’s house, and then Haruka-senpai started to look up instructions on how to install a Jacuzzi. But then he stopped after a few minutes. When Makoto-senpai asked why, he said that he was going to ask you first, if you wanted a Jacuzzi at the house.” Gou smiles, full of curiosity. “That was sweet, but also a little strange. Why does he want your opinion on how he changes his own house, hm?”

“Goodbye, nosy brat.”

“Make sure you visit Kaa-chan soon!” Gou calls after him. “She was pissed that you missed Children’s Day!”

***

He finds Haru at Tanaka Groceries. Haru is standing in front of the onion stalls and examining a stalk of green onion with great concentration, even though all the vegetables sold in this town are always very fresh. As Rin is sneaking up on him, Haru bends his head to sniff the stalk. Rin reigns in a laugh.

He manages to reach Haru without being detected and then puts his hands over Haru’s eyes. Haru flinches. Then he relaxes his shoulders, leans into the touch. “Hey,” Rin murmurs, “guess who?”

“I know only one person who uses a cherry-flavored hand lotion,” Haru replies. “Try harder next time.”

“Hey, was that an insult? You can’t measure a man’s manliness by the flavor of his hand lotion.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” 

Rin has missed that deadpan tone very much. The full range of its impassivity doesn’t transmit very well over the phone. He is considering a quick kiss, just to the back of Haru’s head, just on that soft black hair falling over the left ear, maybe an even quicker one on the gleaming strip of skin above the blue collar, when a few other customers approach the onion stalls.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and moves several steps away from Haru. It was easier to show affection when they were kids. The last thing he needs is these people going and telling his mother that her only son is into PDA, that he has zero compunctions about hanging all over another guy in the marketplace. Small town problems.

Haru returns to his onion examination with perfect equanimity. There are several grocery bags already dangling from his left hand. After a couple more minutes, he finds a stalk worthy enough for the noble role of becoming garnish. He moves onto the garlic.

Rin takes the grocery bags from him and then watches him stroke a bulb of garlic with one slim finger, the wrist bent at a delicate angle, bangs brushing over his high cheekbones, a pensive frown making the face no less attractive. No less mysterious or cool. And this cool guy actually wants Rin to move in with him, has been deferring plans for the house just so that he can get Rin’s input. 

Haru looks up, says, “I’m almost done.”

“Yeah, alright babe.”

The moment he realizes what he said, Rin wants to bite his tongue out. Haru’s blue eyes have gone very wide, and several of the customers around them are staring at Rin. A blushing young woman has her hand over her mouth. The next time he texts his stupid flatmates in Australia, he is going to curse them out. They used to call their girlfriends “babe” all the time in front of Rin, and now that term of endearment is stuck in his head. He tugs down the bill of his baseball cap.

“Stop,” Haru says, and Rin manages to meet his gaze. There is the slightest hint of red in Haru’s cheeks. “Stop singing in public,” he continues. “It disturbs the other customers.”

“Of course,” Rin says. He is going to get started on the Jacuzzi as soon as he reaches the house. “I’ll just … go wait at the bench over there.”

***

By the time Rin has finished hauling his luggage and the groceries up the stone steps leading to Haru’s house, his armpits are starting to sweat. He is cursing himself for not having changed into a thinner shirt at the airport. It was cold the morning he left Sydney and cold on the airplane. He wasn’t thinking of the weather in Iwatobi. Or that he would have to carry what seems like five tons of mackerel and meat up these stairs while trying to navigate around the gang of cats that are now following him around, attracted no doubt to the smell of fish.

“So,” Haru says, stopping in front of his front door. There is a strange gleam in his eyes. “You remember what we talked about before you left?”

Rin’s heart sinks. Haru is going to say that he has changed his mind about the whole moving in thing. Rin will have to content himself with intermittent nights at Haru’s house, using Haru’s toothbrush in the mornings, sharing a razor, borrowing T-shirts that expose his belly button when he lifts his arms. 

Haru turns the doorknob and pushes the door open. He says, “We can go get your other stuff later today. Or tomorrow.”

“Wait, what?” Rin feels his despondency suddenly take wing and fly off into the balmy air. “Really?”

Haru tilts his face a little, presses his mouth to Rin’s. “Of course, you troublesome idiot,” he murmurs. “Okaeri.” 

“Tadaima.”

Rin’s fingers definitely don’t tremble as he pulls his luggage into the front hall. He isn’t feeling emotional at all as he takes off his shoes and slides his feet into a brand new pair of house slippers that fits perfectly. He doesn’t almost swallow his gum when Haru pushes him up against the door and grabs his belt buckle.

They end up having sex against the door. It’s a wonderful homecoming present. A fantastic way to begin his life in his new house.

***

Rin has stayed in a variety of places over the years, houses, dormitories, hotel rooms, and flats that offered various degrees of accommodation, and he has changed acquaintances so often that he has learned not to be too picky and not to get too attached. His grandmother’s house used to be his favorite. She was kind to him after his father died, allowed Rin to stay in her house just so that he could attend Iwatobi Elementary and swim with Haru and Makoto instead of against them, win the sixth grade swimming relay in honor of his father. His grandmother kept a clean, traditional home (shining hardwood, many tatami mats, leafy house plants) much like Haru’s. 

His least favorite is perhaps his mother’s, though the boarding school he attended in Australia could give it a run for its money. Samezuka wasn’t that great either, though the swimming pool and his team there was instrumental in shaping him into the swimmer he is today. Those boarding schools, and his mother’s house, have always felt simultaneously suffocating and nerve-wracking, like he has been stuffed into a narrow tube and then rolled down a steep hill that goes on for miles.

He likes the flat he shares with two other guys in Sydney well enough. It has a view of the ocean and stays relatively tidy because of the cleaning services. His flatmates are friendly without being too intrusive, much like Nitori was. They swim for the Australian Olympic team. They’re competitive and know how to have a good time.

At Haru’s house, Rin has to put up with the nearly everyday smell of grilled mackerel, but other than that, it’s a great place to call home. There are no expectations, no required chores, and no difficult conversations (provided Rin keeps his own mouth shut). He and Haru sleep in the master bedroom, which was redone after Nanase-san signed the house over to his son three years ago, and the room is double the size of any dorm room Rin has ever stayed in. The bed is gigantic, and Haru is an ideal bed partner because he is a very quiet sleeper. He never snores, mutters in his sleep, or snuffles like Gou used to when she was a baby, and he doesn’t do annoying things like fling his arms around in the middle of the night, steal people’s blankets and pillows, or try to push people off the mattress. Most importantly, he doesn’t complain when Rin uses him as a pillow.

Haru is also a strange person who likes to cook and clean, so Rin doesn’t feel bad spending hours muscle-training in the front yard instead of helping out, or kicking his feet up on the brand new coffee table and doing nothing while Haru moves around in various states of dishabille, broom, mop, bucket, or spatula in hand. It’s a little weird sometimes, how dedicated Haru is to cleaning the house even after a long day at work, but when Rin mentioned it once, Haru said that chores are therapeutic and that Rin should try it sometime.

Other perks to living with Haru include a fifty percent increase in the amount of hours they spend kissing and having sex. Haru is more receptive to physical gestures of affection behind closed doors than he is in public, so Rin is allowed to touch as much as he likes and fulfill various fantasies, like making out on the kitchen table and against the refrigerator while Haru is wearing a ridiculous apron that says “kiss the chef.” The slow, nice things too, like nibbling Haru’s earlobe while they are drying their third-best china, kissing him before their first cup of morning coffee, squeezing in with Haru in the small bathtub they haven’t yet replaced for a Jacuzzi and shampooing each other’s hair.

One afternoon, while they are getting ready to go to yet another one of Nagisa’s parties, Haru sits him down on the bench in their bathroom and holds up a straight shaving razor. “Let’s try this,” he says.

“What?” Rin glances at the two razors lying by the sink. “What’s wrong with mine?”

“You need a close shave.” Haru rubs at the faint red abrasion on his cheek, formed either from Rin’s stubble or teeth. “Just because you aren’t making an appearance at a televised event today doesn’t give you an excuse to let yourself go.”

“That looks really sharp though. Get mine, bastard.”

The blade and the gold-colored handle of the straight razor gleam ominously in the sunlight streaming through the window. Haru says, “Fine. But you can’t kiss me again until you get rid of that hair.”

There is nothing more to do than lean back and let Haru wield the very sharp blade right over his throat and jugular veins. “Be careful,” Rin says, only once. “I know I fulfilled my dreams of beating you fair and square in a relay and making the Japanese Olympic team, but I would still really like to get a gold medal. Alright? Alright?”

“You’re such a baby,” Haru replies. 

There really was no reason to worry, Rin realizes a moment later. Haru has the precise, steady hands of an experienced surgeon. He works quickly, running the blade over Rin’s cheeks and then down the throat, pausing every now and then to wipe shaving cream on the towel around his neck. His left hand keeps a firm grip on Rin’s head, guiding it this way and that. 

“Alright,” Haru says when he is done.

Rin splashes water onto his face, lets out his ponytail, and then checks himself in the mirror. He doesn’t look all that different from when he shaves with his usual razor, but his skin feels much smoother. And there isn’t a single nick to be found. He thanks Haru the next morning with a shoulder massage in the bath.

***

Rin has visited his mother only once since he returned from Sydney, and she was heading out for her Go Club meeting then, only had time for a ten minute lecture about how ungrateful a child he is for not even bothering to call on Children’s Day. He packed up the few things that were still collecting dust in his childhood bedroom (mostly books his father may or may not have read to him; a few trophies and medals; some winter clothes he barely uses because he has been switching between Australia and Japan since he graduated from high school four years ago, staying where the summer is), and Makoto helped him carry the boxes to Haru’s house. 

It is no surprise that Okaa-san shows up at Haru’s house three weeks after Rin has properly moved in, scowl firmly in place. She sits in the living room with her back very straight, looking at the trophies Rin has put on display near the photographs of Oyaji, until Haru has finished cooking dinner and escaped to the Tachibana residence, where Makoto will no doubt visit to keep him company. Maybe Makoto will take Haru and the twins out to town, and they will all have fun while Rin sits here listening to his mother’s complaints.

Okaa-san begins her tirade by recapping how angry she is about his failure to call or visit on Children’s Day and works her way through the usual: Rin’s failures at regular communication (“my friends’ sons always call them every night!”), in education (“why couldn’t you have gone to university first?” and “how long can you go on swimming professionally?”), and at a normal male life (“and now you’re living with this boy?” “what am I supposed to tell people?” “even a foreign girl would have been better than this”).

“This is why I didn’t come for Children’s Day!” Rin snaps, after half an hour. “I’m tired of hearing the same things over and over again. Why can’t you be happy for me for once?”

“I was happy with you before,” Okaa-san replies. She does not say before what. It could be before he declared that he wasn’t going to take the university entrance exams. Or before Gou accidentally told her that Rin wasn’t going to settle down with a nice city girl because he rather get it on with another male. Okaa-san was certainly loving when he was a kid and even when he was a sulky, rude teenager. Strict, yes, as expected of a single parent, but still loving. After all, she was willing to dole out all that money needed for foreign and boarding schools just so that Rin could become a better swimmer. 

She looks aged now, much older than she had been on New Year’s. Rows of wrinkles have set in her face, diminishing the youthful glow that used to appear on happy occasions. Her hair is a bit too red and dry, like she has been dyeing it.

“How long are you going to keep this up?” Okaa-san asks, setting her chopsticks down on her half-finished plate. “Don’t men tire of their lovers quickly? When can I start searching for a girl for you?”

“Never,” Rin replies. “And I’m still waiting for you to be nice to Haru. You really hurt him that time you accused him of taking advantage of a fatherless son.” He can still remember the scene, the wounded expression on Haru’s face as those words were delivered, Haru disappearing into the bathroom and not coming out until Rin went in to apologize. Haru had looked so fragile then, sitting in the bathtub with his rubber dolphin and shark, shoulders hunched in.

“He _has_ taken advantage of you,” Okaa-san says. “Not that it’s entirely his own fault. His parents abandoned him in the critical stage. Everyone knows you shouldn’t give teenage boys too much independence. It is my fault too. I didn’t raise you right.”

“Well, one out of two. Gou didn’t turn out too bad.”

“I’m worried about her too. She needs to make a good marriage. Someone suitable from Tokyo or Osaka. How long is she going to be stuck in this provincial town?”

Rin is immensely grateful when his mother’s phone rings a moment later. A friend invites her over for a late night game of mahjong, and she accepts. He walks her down the steps, and at the bottom, he says, “I’m sorry.”

She sighs, says, “I know,” pats his cheek. 

After she has disappeared from view, he knocks on Tachibana-san’s door. A few minutes later, he has Haru back at his side.

“How’s your mother?” Haru inquires, tone polite. 

“Fine.” Rin slings his arm around Haru, pulls him close. It is harder to walk up the steps like this, but he doesn’t care. “She wants me to find someone for Gou. I’m going to find someone who lives in the other end of Japan. Maybe she’ll move there with Gou.”

“I can help you look. I mean,” Haru pauses, glances quickly at Rin, “I didn’t mean for a man at the other end of Japan.”

“Thanks for the offer, but you don’t have to worry about my family drama. Cool people aren’t supposed to worry about things like that. Hey, let’s go visit a water garden tomorrow. Haven’t been to one of those in a while.” 

***

The next morning, Rin helps Haru pack lunch for their day trip. He can’t stop smiling as he puts the onigiri and egg sandwiches into bento boxes. It will be great, sharing a homemade lunch out under the sun. 

They go to a park that has a large pond. The pond has boulders located under the awning of large trees. Rin waits for a young couple to amble out of sight before pulling Haru over to one of the boulders. Haru, smiling, strips down to his jammers. 

Rin manages to catch Haru before he slips into the water. “No, you idiot,” Rin says, hauling him up onto the mossy boulder. “We’re going to do something different first.”

Haru raises an eyebrow. “How troublesome,” he mutters, looking towards the bank. He kicks up pond water, splashing Rin’s shorts and T-shirt. “Can’t whatever that is wait? Other people are going to come by.”

They were escorted out of several Tokyo water gardens last year after Haru tried to swim in the ponds. The park rangers were not amused by Haru’s insistence that the water had called to him. This is why Rin can’t plan out a romantic getaway to any place that has a significant body of water. This is why he can’t go to Venice. Haru will no doubt forgo the gondola rides and just swim in the canals instead. 

It is difficult to compete with Haru’s love for testing out different bodies of water. Rin decides to give it a go anyway. “You’ll like this,” he says, pulling Haru’s jammers down.

He is not quite sure, even after four years, how Haru feels about receiving blowjobs. Haru barely makes a sound while Rin is straining his jaw, even has the gall to look bored or sleepy. Rin can only tell that Haru is close when the grip in his hair gets painful. Rin wouldn’t bother to do this for him at all, except that Haru strokes gentle fingers through his hair afterwards and then reciprocates with a degree of skill that leaves Rin feeling weak in the knees for hours.

This afternoon, however, Rin has only just gotten started when he realizes that this is the worst place for sucking someone off. The rocks under the water are cutting into his feet, and Haru keeps sliding around because of the slick surface of the boulder. When Rin tries to grab onto the side of the boulder for better purchase, his hand slides right off. He plummets into the water. 

Haru takes a moment to laugh at him before pulling the jammers back up and then jumping into the pond.

“Yeah, see if I do anything nice for you ever again!” Rin shouts, blinking water out of his eyes. 

This draws the attention of a park ranger, who yells at them to get out of the pond. This in turn pisses Haru off. “Why can’t you ever keep your voice down,” he says to Rin as they are walking out of the park.

“Why do you have to be so addicted to swimming?” Rin snaps, wringing water out of his T-shirt. “You’re not a fish! You need help. Try Waterholics Anonymous.”

“Easy for you to say.” Haru glares at him. “You swim 5000 meters per day.”

“You could have been doing the same thing. You’re the one who chose not to go into professional swimming. What a fucking waste of talent.”

Haru looks away, his shoulders a tense, angry line. Rin bites his tongue. It starts to bleed. 

***

Gou visits with her laptop and a financial calculator. She shoves both in Rin’s face. “Help me, Onii-chan,” she wails, collapsing onto the couch. “I hate doing the accounts.”

Haru puts his broom down and says, “I can do them, Kou.”

“You’re awful at math, Haru,” Rin says, turning the calculator on. “What do I get in return, Gou?”

“It’s a sad day when your own brother won’t do anything for you out of the goodness of his heart.” She sighs.

Haru walks to the kitchen. Rin opens up the laptop. “Er,” Gou begins, in a lower voice, “everything okay between you guys?”

“Why shouldn’t they be?” 

“Haruka-senpai is almost as silent as he was in high school.” 

“We can’t all be blabbermouths like you. Show me where to go.” Rin puts the laptop on the coffee table. 

Gou logs in and then shows him the appropriate files and programs. While he is clicking through them, she continues, “The customers are a little upset. I don’t blame them. It’s hard to spend hours in a place that has a brooding employee.”

“You two are running a swimming club, not a host club. No one needs to smile.”

“Why don’t you two take a little vacation? Go to the beach or something.”

“Mind your own damn business.” He glares at her. “By the way, have you found anyone yet?”

“You’re no fun.” She pouts. “I’m leaving.”

She leaves after a lengthy explanation on how to balance the accounts, which are in a complicated mess. “I can’t believe this,” Rin says, when Haru returns to the living room. “This is going to take me all night. You guys should’ve hired an accountant instead of that lifeguard.”

Haru asks, “Kou didn’t want to stay for dinner?” 

“Her loss,” Rin says, to be kind. Haru hasn’t quite forgiven the outburst about wasting talent. The Jacuzzi is due to come in two days, and then everything will be fine again, maybe even better than before.

Rin is sorry about the words he said, but also not. He had tried to persuade Haru to swim with him after high school. It’s a shame to have so much natural talent and not use it. Haru really has become a dolphin, content to stay in enclosed, chlorinated water, performing tricks for spectators.

And it sucks, spending more than half the year away from him. Haru is awful at long-distance relationships. He responds to texts hours after they become irrelevant, picks up the phone only half the time, touches his email once a month. The only solution is to take Haru with him to Australia, but Rin needs to get his own flat there first. And work up the nerve to ask.

“There’s food for at least four,” Haru says. “Tell Makoto to come over.”

“Okay.” Rin reaches for his phone.

“Makoto would be good for Kou,” Haru remarks.

“What?!” 

Haru sits down at the kotatsu and raises an eyebrow. “What?” he repeats.

“Are you out of your fucking mind,” Rin says. He can’t believe his ears. It is astonishing to think that Haru has been secretly matchmaking all this time. This is taking socializing to an entirely unpleasant new level.

“I can’t presume to know how siblings feel about each other,” Haru says, studying his fingertips, “but I thought you wouldn’t object to Makoto. He’s always been an important friend.”

Rin imagines himself telling Okaa-san about Makoto. She likes Makoto much better than she does Haru, as do all parents probably, and is on friendly terms with the Tachibana family, but she would never consider him as a son-in-law. He has a university degree, but he isn’t rich enough, doesn’t live in the city. Kindness and a generous heart don’t count for much these days. Rin is going to get a lecture just for bringing up his name. 

“How many times do I have to tell you not to meddle in my family affairs?” Rin says. “Forget about Gou. And call Makoto yourself.”

Without a word, Haru walks straight to the bedroom and closes the door. Rin grabs the nearest object at hand, it turns out to be the TV remote, and throws it across the room. It breaks apart on the wall, and a piece goes flying towards the porcelain vase, missing it by a few millimeters. He grabs his baseball cap, snaps the back a few times, and then goes out for a run.

***

Rin finishes balancing the accounts around three a.m., after which he goes into Haru’s old bedroom. The bed is too small. The scent of Haru’s shampoo hasn’t been present in the pillowcases for years. The sheets have become thin from frequent washing. He goes to sleep trying to remember the first time he had made out with Haru on this bed. 

In the morning he finds Haru grilling mackerel at the stove, wearing his best mask of apathy. “Good morning,” Rin says, pulling at the knot at the back of Haru’s apron.

“You can have yesterday’s dinner,” Haru says, tone cold. “Someone has to eat it.”

“Fine.”

“Put the laptop by the front door. I have to take it to Kou.”

“Actually, I was thinking you should take the day off.” Rin tries his most winsome smile. Haru doesn’t look. “Hey. Let’s go to the beach today!”

After a quick pitstop to the Iwatobi Swimming Club to drop off the laptop (and getting yelled at by Gou, who hadn’t meant that Rin take Haru to the beach today, obviously), they head for the sand, sun, and waves. It’s going to be fantastic, Rin promises himself. He shifts closer to Haru, twines their pinkies together. The train is crowded, and it’s another hot day, so no one notices. Or, at least, they don’t make a big deal about noticing.

They reach the beach well before noon. 

***

After attempting to interest Haru in first surfing and then water-skiing, Rin gives up. There is simply no helping a guy who would rather float aimlessly in the water than do interesting things like ride gigantic waves or zoom over the water, wind in his hair, arms straining. He goes off to the other end of the beach and starts on his 5000 meters.

He doesn’t return to Haru’s side of the beach until late afternoon. The kids who like to run around shrieking and kicking up sand onto other people’s towels and feet are still there, as are the sand castle builders, and the annoying adults who occupy all available space on the shoreline just so they can soak their feet. The seagulls are gathering in groups on the sand. Haru is not going to be on the beach, not with that crowd.

The number of swimmers in the ocean has lessened, but Rin can’t find Haru anywhere. There is always the possibility that he has gone back home, but it would be awful to return to Iwatobi and not find Haru there. Rin swims out further. 

His muscles are starting to ache, and he can hear a few of the other swimmers muttering things like “that’s dangerous” and “what kind of crazy guy goes out that far” and “he’ll drown.” The ocean stretches out before him, vast and deep and suddenly terrifying. How many people have been swallowed by this sea? There one day and gone the next, their families left confused and bereft on the shore, hesitant to go back into the water. His mother stopped swimming in the ocean after his father drowned.

Rin was young when the tragedy occurred, didn’t know much about his father other than the fact that Oyaji had a warm hug and a loud laugh, so recovering from that event wasn’t too hard for him. Apart from avoiding the part of the harbor where the boat sunk, he is fine with the ocean. It was easy, fun even, to take up his father’s aspirations and dreams. When Haru had almost drowned in sixth grade, Rin had been more terrified by Makoto’s panic attack than the incident itself. Water won’t harm Haru: that’s what Haru believes himself, and Rin had gotten swept up into that belief very early on.

But maybe Makoto is right. Maybe there is something in the water. Maybe that something gets jealous and pulls into its belly the people who are wavering in their love for it. Oyaji had loved the water too.

“Rin!”

He almost screams. That sounded like Haru's voice, but there is no one in front of him. Has he drowned himself, Rin wonders. Or is he hallucinating from exhaustion?

Very slowly, Rin turns around. He sees Haru swimming towards him from the direction of the shore. The arms and shoulders look solid enough. “Where were you?” Rin shouts. 

“I’ve been here.” Haru’s gaze is fixed on the horizon, that sprawl of blue meshing sea and sky together. His eyes are lit up with a strange feverish intensity. It makes Rin’s blood run cold.

Haru is about to swim right past him. Rin manages to grab him by the arm at the last moment. “Stop going to places where I can’t follow you!” he shouts, giving Haru a little shake. “You’re not going to become that guy again. The guy who tries to shut everyone out.”

Haru mumbles, soft and slow like he is about to fall asleep, “You’re the one who goes to places where I can’t follow. You’re the one who doesn’t want me to get involved, remember. Perhaps it’s better this way.”

There are several things very wrong with these accusations. However, Rin doubts that he can present any persuasive counterarguments right now. His head feels heavy. All he can hear is the screaming of the seagulls and the pounding of his heart in his ears. Haru is starting to float past him.

Rin tightens his grip on Haru’s arm, says, “I’m sorry, okay? I’ll fix it. I’ll do anything, just. Just. Don’t think for a second that you’re not needed, Haru.”

After a moment, Haru turns around. He frowns before saying, “You’re not breathing so well. How long have you been swimming?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Haru reaches over and wipes Rin’s face. He says, “Come on, you troublesome idiot.” 

They swim back to shore.

***

After a quick bath in ice water to soothe his sore muscles, Rin walks into the bedroom. Haru is already there, sitting on the edge of their bed. He is wearing an old T-shirt that has a creepy picture of Iwatobi-chan on the front and has a mug of tea clasped in his hands. Rin sits down next to him. After a moment, he rests his head against Haru’s shoulder.

“When Gou and I were younger,” Rin says, “our neighbors helped us out because they felt bad for Okaa-san, but they kept their distance too, like they didn’t want my mother’s grief to touch their families. Like they would be cursed too, if they got too close. Gou is different, but besides telling you, Makoto, and Nagisa about Oyaji, I don’t really talk about my family with others. And you know how Okaa-san is like. That’s why I told you not to get involved.”

He isn’t quite sure when he first realized that he loved Haru, that what he had been feeling, after the anger subsided, wasn’t just admiration or fascination or attraction. Maybe it was at Haru’s high school graduation, when Haru gave him the second button of the Iwatobi blazer without needing to be asked. Or when Rin was in Sydney the following January, having decided that he would make Australia his permanent home, and he met a rude black-haired swimmer at a practice session. That guy had green eyes, not blue, but suddenly all Rin could think about was Haru, how their last conversation had been an argument about training for the Olympics, how Haru deserved so much better than a jerk like him, how no one could compete with Nanase Haruka. It had to be Haru, who drew out the worst in him at one point, who fixed him after the worst, who has been putting up with his selfish requests since sixth grade, who is one of the main reasons Rin is able to fulfill his dreams.

“Makoto is great,” Rin says, and doesn’t add “for both you and Gou” because some things he would rather not think about, “but Okaa-san won’t approve. She wants someone wealthier. I don’t want to piss her off by pushing in that direction. And I don’t want her to get mad at you either. Anyway, Gou probably already has someone in mind.”

Haru puts the mug in Rin’s hands. “Here,” he murmurs, “it’s still hot.”

The cinnamon in the tea sends a soothing burst of warmth straight down his chest. Rin finishes the tea. When Haru reaches for the cup, Rin takes Haru’s hand, kisses the curve of the wrist, the raised veins at the back of the hand, the gentle dip of the palm. He really is an insensitive jerk for not realizing that Haru feels like he has been left behind.

He mumbles against Haru’s palm, “Come to Australia with me.”

After a long pause, Haru says, “I’m not going to train for the Olympics.”

“No, just come with me.” Rin kisses Haru’s somber mouth. “We’ll stay there for six months, and then here for the other six.” He will make it work, somehow. “You haven’t tried out the waters of the Southern Hemisphere yet, right?”

“When you put it like that, babe,” and Haru smiles, sudden and so sexy, pushes Rin down onto the bed, “how can I refuse?”

***

Rin wakes up to find himself alone in bed. This isn’t an uncommon occurrence, Haru could be sitting in the bathtub, but there is also a chance that Rin has been left alone in the house. Perhaps Haru has reconsidered the offer to go to Sydney, reconsidered the whole relationship, and is distancing himself again to make the inevitable breakup easier. That’s really too bad because Rin is going to miss the sex. Last night was mind-blowing. 

This is really too bad because he is never going to recover from this breakup. It will be the end for him.

He tells himself that he is overreacting and then gets out of bed. It is a wonderful morning. A cool breeze gently lifts the curtains. Birdsong starts up on the roof. A train rattles by.

He is reaching for his leather bracelet when he notices the drawing on the back of his left hand. He walks over to the windows for a better look. The drawing, done in pen, is a detailed depiction of an oasis. A sweep of yellow sand pushes up against a circle of skinny brown trees, which border a spring of blue water. He is surprised that he didn’t wake up while Haru was working on this hand.

Rin leaves the room in search of Haru. The guy is nowhere to be found in the house, although a plate of toast, mackerel, and pineapple slices has been left covered on the kitchen counter. Rin is about to call Gou when he hears loud voices outside. He goes out to find Haru standing by the steps while a few burly men carry up a large box. Haru’s eyes are shining.

“Promise me that you’ll still go to work,” Rin says. “Or I’ll never hear the end of it from Gou.”

Haru stays with the workmen until it is time for him to go to work, and upon returning, invites them to stay for a thank-you dinner. Rin has to wait all day to talk about the drawing. As soon as Haru closes the front door that night, Rin asks, “Why an oasis?” 

Haru locks the door and then turns around. “I thought it was obvious,” he replies.

“Yeah, well tell me anyway.”

“Well, imagine a traveler walking in a desert.” He walks his fingers over the sand drawn on Rin’s hand. “He’s happy at first because in this desert he is finally free of all responsibility. No one can ask anything of him anymore. He is going to keep on walking through all the deserts of the world, only stopping in town to refill his canteen of water. People, kind, well-meaning people, try to make him stay, but he continues on. 

“Until he loses his way. He starts to run out of water. He gets very, very thirsty. Sometimes,” Haru touches the trees, “he thinks he sees an oasis, only to realize that it was a mirage. He is about to lie down in the sand, blanketed by what he thought he wanted, when he hears it.” Haru looks at Rin. His pointer finger slides over to the water. “Water in the distance. He walks a few steps further, and there it is, the oasis. And it takes his breath away. And he decides that it is a good place for his travels to come to an end.”

Before Haru can voice the actual words, the heartfelt “you’re my oasis,” and embarrass themselves further, make Rin’s already burning face explode, make the tears welling in his chest release themselves all down his cheeks, Rin says, “And I thought I was the romantic one.”

“Thanks for the Jacuzzi.” Haru squeezes Rin’s hand. “Let’s go say a proper hello.”


End file.
